Defeating Post-Graduate Depression

Post-graduate Depression is Real.

Here is how I’m getting through it: 


*DISCLAIMER: These experiences are purely my own. If you relate to these experiences, awesome. However, I am not an expert. If you are experiencing depression I strongly advise you to seek help. Don’t be ashamed. 

My post-grad depression started well before I graduated — 2 weeks to be exact. TWO WEEKS before I walked across that stage I questioned everything I had done in my college career. It felt like I didn’t accomplish enough. I felt like I didn’t prepare myself for the real world. I was leaving the place I called home for 4.5 years to move back to Suwanee, GA to live with my parents. I lost all motivation to continue to look for jobs (those rejection emails cut so deep). I felt helpless. Hopeless. Empty. and Disappointed. 

I never wanted to go out and enjoy myself because I felt like I didn’t deserve to have fun. “Girl, you’re a server. You have no type of business trying to have fun” is what I told myself every time the opportunity to have fun presented itself. I was confined to my bed. I gained 15 pounds in 5 months. My functioning was completely impaired. It was taking a toll on my friendships and especially my relationship. No one wins when you and ya man feuding, okay?! But anyways…. 

I was comparing myself to my peers’ path when they were merely not my own. Social media began to take a toll on me. I absolutely had to take a break from it. I saw people who were fulfilling the same dream I had, but here I was cursing myself because I couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong. I was so happy for them, but I got tired of not being happy for the person that really mattered: me. I was extremely hard on myself, and had no idea how I was going to put this degree to use. I didn’t spend all that money to be confused! 

_________________________

I’m not here to go into detail about the many breakdowns, self doubt, and comparison I went through. I genuinely want to tell you guys how I am currently defeating post graduate depression, because I know I’m not the only one going through this. I pray this reaches you, and I hope it helps.  


I’m trying to remember which nervous breakdown it was. I can’t remember. But it was one in particular where I cried out to God and completely let go. I felt like he had been waiting for me to just tell Him what I needed. 


When I finally did tell Him, he ain’t say nothin’……..


But I always told myself that if I don’t get my answer right then and there, then continue to be still. I didn’t make any decisions about my career, school, current job, or anything else until God told me to. I remained still, but did not become stagnant. I used that time to pray and become rooted in His word faithfully. I began to put things into perspective and looked at my situation differently. During these moments, I realized that God revealed my purpose to me a long time ago. However, it will come to pass in HIS timing, not mine. This is my preparation period. And during this period I grew frustrated and tired through the trials and troubles that He put before, and not realizing that they were there to mold and prepare me for the blessings He had in store for me. It took me a long time to understand that. However, even though I now understand it, I still struggle sometimes. But I then remind myself that until I pass these tests, they will never go away. I have to get through this, or God will have these tests right at my front door and every morning. 

Even though the preparation period is crucial, it is also temporary. It will not last forever unless you allow it to. We can pray to have God bless us in our finances, our household, and in our relationship all we want to but we have to prepare to receive those blessings. God won’t bless us if He knows we’re not going to receive that blessing accordingly. For example, He won’t bless our finances if He knows that we aren’t financially mature and willing to use those funds accordingly.

I know you’re seeing recent grads post their accomplishments, and you may be questioning yourself and your hard work. Stop those thoughts. In the midst of all of this uncertainty, remember we can always find consistency and reassurance in Jesus Christ. It’s not easy having faith, trust me. I get it! But when you have nothing else to hold on to, faith is the closest thing that will keep you above water. I’ve been there. I’m still there. Take it step by step. Focus on the now, let God handle what’s in front of you. Matthew 6:34 says “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Don’t worry about if you’ll get into that graduate program, or if you’ll get called back for a second interview for that job you wanted. Pray about it and move on. And if you don’t get the job, or if you get a rejection email from that graduate school, God didn’t want that for you. He has something better instead. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been rejected and ended up thanking God later on. One of my dearest friends told me, “we have to stop giving rejection so much power”.  It isn’t the end because you receive a “no”. Look at it as one day you’ll receive the most rewarding “yes” that all the no’s prepared you for. 

My preparation period is far from over, yet I look at it from a completely different perspective. My journey is to be continued. But I’m excited for what is to come, even if I have no clue what it is!

I hope this helps you. It was on my spirit to share my experience. God has His hand on you, and this will one day be your testimony. We just gotta get through it. 

God loves you and so do I! 

Thank you for keeping me company. 

xoxoxo, 

Courtney

22 thoughts on “Defeating Post-Graduate Depression

    1. exact samething im going through now thanks soo much for sharing these were the same solutions i had used and it’s a working progress but the lord will c us through thanks so much

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  1. This was NECESSARY! Being a Fall 2017 graduate, though I had offers rolling in, I was still in a HARSH state of confusion. My vision was blurred! This was very enlightening and I’m glad to know that your preparation period has unveiled some of the greatest lessons ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Courtney. Thank you for sharing this! God gives us these trials so that our testimony will shine a light on who needs it! You will be blessed and favored. Continue to inspire others. Love you! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Trust the process but be diligent! Life is a marathon not a sprint. We don’t all have to make it to the finish line at the same time because our races are different. I am proud of you “despite” it all and I’m here if you need me. Transparency allows healing. Heal my sister…❤️

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  4. Sometimes God let’s us go through things so that we can be an inspiration and guide for others. We often want to follow a straight line to success. Straight lines are a concept and that’s it. They don’t truly exist in nature.

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  5. GIRLLLL!! So nicely worded🙌🏿 We all needed this. You said it loud enough for all the people in the back. This really touched me in so many ways. I love you forever sister ❤️

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  6. Love love love your transparency Court!! And yes we’ve all been there at some point or another. Keep pushing and believing beautiful. You are well on your way ❤️❤️❤️! So proud of you already 😉

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  7. Everything you said is what I’m currently going through now. I’ve never felt so lost and stuck in my life, thank you for this❤️ I needed it.

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  8. Wow! This is me. I am this post. It’s hard when you feel like people don’t understand. Courtney, this post was perfectly put together to explain the importance of leaning on to God when you’re lost and have no clue what to do with your future. Thank you for talking about this! Currently experiencing my preparation period now. We’re going to make it through! ♥️

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  9. This was great Courtney! I’m not a recent graduate but I’m still going through those same things. Very inspirational! You should write a book giirrll!

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